Spock Shock
by trojjer
Summary: Oh Lord, this isn't very good... What the hell have I done to Spock??? Captain Kirk??? Noooo... But read and review if you like. I don't care if it's slander, lol. Probably deserve it after this.


_Excuse the following comedy dialogue - it's in some sort of time paradox, I know, but let's just say that they're aboard the Enterprise D, instead of the proper "TNG" crew..._

**Review if you want to... What d'ya think? Should I continue with it?**

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_[Scotty, Bones and Captain Kirk are in the sick bay, wrestling with Spock to try and restrain him; his arms flailing wildly.]_

Spock: Illogical, I tell you, Captain! I must escape from this place!!! Leave me alone!

Scotty: (Panting) Oh my, these Vulcans are tough beings...

Capt. Kirk: (Also panting) I know Scotty - just keep his arms away from -

_[The Captain is interrupted by the sound of a falling phasor weapon; at which point the officers, except Spock, all gasp and duck to avoid the possibly imminent destruction as it hits the floor.]_

(Shaken) - my phasor! It's armed and set to 'kill'!

_[The weapon contacts with the floor, but nothing happens. There is a stunned silence.]_

Scotty: (As if recovering from a near heart attack) Phew Captain, I'm glad we survived that one...

Bones: [Realisation sets in] ...but why the hell did you have it armed?!

Capt. Kirk: (Guiltily) ...I don't know...

_[Spock once again begins to writhe about frantically; although this time he has loosened himself from the improvised arm restraints of the medical bed that the officers had somehow managed to lift him onto, and is now standing up, about to run towards the door. The men hurriedly pick themselves back up, grapple the Vulcan officer, and struggle to restrain him.]_

Spock: That is not the behaviour that I would expect from you, Captain James T Kirk... (Delirious) Now LET ME GO AND SAVE US ALL!!!

Scotty: He may be 'under the influence', but he has a fair point there, Captain...

Bones: (Quickly recovered) Calm down Mr Spock; we believe you are undergoing the unexpected Vulcan reactions, to what the older humans among us call 'Alcohol'...

Spock: (Frantically) That is what you all think!!! There's a cloaked Romulan warbird in the ship's path, Captain, and its weapons are armed! It would be logical to assume that, if you do not let me enter the cloaking frequencies into the computer so that we can find them, they will attack! And the Enterprise is in no condition to withstand the damage...

_[Bones hastily aims a hypospray at the strong Vulcan's neck; but it is knocked out of his hand.]_

What are you doing?!

Bones: Now you listen to me, Sir, this is for your own good! Just calm down, and let me administer this hypospray to induce a state of sleep...

Capt. Kirk: (To Bones) You've said too much...

Spock: It... can't... be!!! Completely illogical! But... they must have... Captain, what did the Romulans do to the crew?! Why are you people trying to assist them?!

Capt. Kirk: For the last time Spock, we're not assisting anybody! Let alone a Romulan warbird...

Spock: But, all the evidence, the sensor readings... They can't be all wrong!

Capt. Kirk: What sensor readings...?

Bones: Just keep him still for a few seconds...

_[Scotty and Captain Kirk have their firm grips upon the Vulcan's head and lower torso, respectively. They have managed to tackle him onto the floor.]_

Scotty: Hurry up, will yer?!

Bones: (To Scotty) I'm working as fast as I can... Just hold him there for a few seconds, while I get that hypospray!

_[Bones quickly relocates the medical instrument, snatches it in his hand, and proceeds to finally inject the drunken officer in a side of his neck.]_

Spock: (Sluggishly) Fail to... understand... losing consciousness...

_[At that moment the senior officer falls to the floor, lets out some unintelligable Vulcan words, and closes his eyes.]_

Scotty: He's dead, Jim.

Bones: Scotty! He's just drunk - he'll be with us in a few hours... It was a BAD idea to let him 'discover' that crate we had in the cargo bay; we knew his Pon Farre was coming... And you stole _my_ line...

Scotty: Aye, I know. (Downtrodden) I've just always wanted to say it...

Computer: FOURTH WALL BREACH!

Capt. Kirk: Hey! What the hell is that doing here???

_[Taps his communicator.]_ Captain Kirk to Bridge: All stop. I think we'll also have a search for 'spacial anomalies'...

Male Bridge Officer: Aye, Captain.

Scotty: Aye then, so it is...

Capt. Kirk: If Bones had heard you before...

Bones: (Annoyed) I'm right here, you slow fool!

Capt. Kirk: Oh yes, I apologise... But don't you dare call me a fool again! What is this - a mutiny?!

Bones: (Amazed at his slip-up) Er... I'm sorry, Sir... And no, we do not intend to take over the ship...

Capt. Kirk: (Insulted) I know what a mutiny is!

Bones: I know you do! What is wrong with you today, Captain...? Now come on, help us to lift the 'Sleeping Spock' back onto the bed!

Capt. Kirk: (Mutters under breath) What's wrong with ME...?

_[All three of them lift the Vulcan up, and once again onto the medical bed.]_

Ah, I'm glad that's over... To the bridge! (To Scotty) And I feel like a spin on warp factor 10 - see what you can do down in Engineering.

Scotty: (Bemused) But... Captain, that's theoretically impossible...

Capt. Kirk: (Firmly) Nothing's impossible if you believe in it, Scotty. And don't you want to know what it's like in subspace...?

Scotty: Captain! Didn't you listen to me?! (Sighs) I'll try... _[Exit Scotty.]_

Capt. Kirk: (To a confounded Bones) What are you doing, just standing there? I want to feel like I'm a young man again! Dermal regeneration, the works...

_[The very oddly acting Captain claps his hands loudly, then moves towards the adjacent bed to Spock, who is in a state of deep Vulcan sleep. Bones gasps as the Captain smiles unusually and lies down.]_

Bones: But... Captain... What's gotten into you...?

Capt. Kirk: I've never shown you this side of me, have I...?

Bones: Er...

Capt. Kirk: (Beckoning) Come on, over here...

Bones: But... But! Oh, Lord...

_[The doctor walks over towards the bed, thinking over what the consequences might be...]_

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**Yikes!** What on Earth (no pun intended) was I thinking?!?! Never mind, since this is my first "real" fic, I suppose... But... Go ahead and flame if you feel the pointless necessity to... I probably deserve it...

For those of you who are interested, yes it's a "cliffhanger"... Hmm... So, what shall it be then...? Continuation? 


End file.
